I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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