the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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