she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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