Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Barsexuality is the new black.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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