Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
