your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
