I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
