She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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