Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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