I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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