I heard we made out
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
