This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
