She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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