I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
