Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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