He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
PANTIES FOUND
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