I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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