You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
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Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
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Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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