Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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