I think i peed on brittanys purse
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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