Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.