why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I love having hate sex.
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Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
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I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.