There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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