Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
