i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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