Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
