was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
