Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
