Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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