considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
