Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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