I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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