i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
