I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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