I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
