lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
