She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
