I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
