So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
