Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
