There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm sobbing to NWA
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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