You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
