im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
