i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
