Well apparently he's into motor boating.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
