He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
