We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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