farters have to be the big spoon...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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