Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
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The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
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I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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