Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
