yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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