Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
