There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
