The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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