Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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