WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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