It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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