I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
