It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize