Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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