i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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