exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize