HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
