PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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