Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
