Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize