..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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