There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
